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Monday, August 13, 2012

A Really Simple Story - Part 2



                                                              
                                 7

Not knowing what to do, I ( Pooja aka Poo) dropped down on the couch and switched on the TV. HBO was airing Pulp Fiction. It was the sequence where Vincent takes Mia Wallace on a date...
 "I do believe Marsellus Wallace, my husband, your boss, told you to take ME out and do WHATEVER I WANTED. Now I wanna dance, I wanna win. I want that trophy, so dance good."   
... Suddenly, I heard sounds of footsteps in the kitchen. I was about to get up when suddenly a suave looking gentleman wearing a dapper suit jumped into the hall! And he was carrying a handgun! But what was even more shocking than this person's sudden appearance is the fact that an image of another person I know flashed in my head when I first saw him........ KAAMNA!!! Everything happened in a split second. He rushed in, checked all the rooms and walked back into the hall. Seeing me glare at him open-mouthed, he broke into a slow grin and chuckled. 

"You are wondering who I am, aren't you? I hope you are not going mental, because I need to talk to you".

All I could do was blurt out, "Wh-Who are you?"

"Well, as you might have guessed already, I am your Kaamwali bai, Kaamna" he said, smiling cheekily.

"Stop beating around the bush. What is your real identity?"

"Can't you still guess? When there are goddamn Russian spies involved and the most dangerous one at that, who else do you think they will send other than the one and only 007?"

I was indeed going mad now. The whole situation had turned Kafkaesque.

"WHA... I DON'T EVEN...HOW? So you are the "Bond, James bond" wala Bond? And all these days you were lurking around as a maid at our place while singing songs like "Chikni chameli chupke akeli pawwa chadake aayi" and had a ringtone "Character Dheela hain"?

"Errr, I MIGHT have picked up a couple of Bollywood songs." he sounded embarrassed, "and come to think of it, my character is actually dheela, if you know what I mean. I am planning to 'visit' Katrina once the mission is complete. Anyway, now is not the time for chit chat.Do you know where Nikhil is? And just so you know, your boyfriend Ajay is working with me. We are trailing Nikhil to see what he is upto. His actual name is Nickovsky. I am guessing he is holding the real Nikhil hostage somewhere."

"Okay, my head is going to break if I don't get to the bottom of this. I have one last question. Why does Nikhil, I mean, Nickovsky have pictures of the guy, the spacecraft and samosas and why does that guy look like you? Let me show them to you. Here they are."

Bond took a look at the pictures and broke into a mighty laugh. "Oh dahlin', you really are a dumb dodo, aren't you? These are just pictures from the latest Bond movie "The last Samosa" and the bond in the movie is my look-alike, and a lethargic one at that! Did you forget the movie you just saw yesterday with Ajay? The fact that Nikhil has these cutouts just proves that he loves samosas, spacecrafts and, I daresay, men who are dressed like Bond. Okay, enough of this brainless banter. Lets look for Nikhil. Come along with me. Where there is a Bond, there has to a dumb chick along, or at least until he gets to Katrina. Lets go!"

We entered the hall and stopped in our tracks, stunned. I could sense that even Mr.Bond had not anticipated this. 8-10 people covered from head to toe in pitch black clothes(except for an opening at the eyes)  and holding gleaming katanas were standing on all corners of the hall, ready to attack us.

They could only be... NINJAS!

"So either the Russians are completely out of guns or they are just promoting globalization by employing Japanese Ninjas," Bond quipped. I said, "Shut up with your quipping and do something. These ninjas will slit your throat before you even open your mouth again.".
"As you wish,sweetheart," he quipped again, and followed it up with a quick smooch.

( I HAD to introduce ninjas !!! :D Okay, since everyone else had Pooja as the first person, I continued with it. Except for John, where Ajay was the first person.  We will ignore that loophole. There is a heavy-weight action sequence coming up. Since there are ninjas involved, I want to pass it on to Krishna, but I am tempted to pass it to John too since it will be a good deviation from his usually romantic spinoffs. :D Your call, guys.)